Ten Things Not To Do When Naming Your Business

Jun 30
2010

This great list of what not to do comes to us courtesy of Pr*tty Sh*tty and nails the issue with the (pardon my mixed metaphors) proverbial boot to the head. Lame advertising and marketing is bad enough but, when paired with a name that is DOA, it can spell disaster.

Remember when dad told you not to smoke when you were a kid because it would stunt your growth? Well, that same message applies here. Google may not have been as successful if they decided to call themselves “Searches -n- Links & Other Things Too.”

10. Punny Busines
9. Placing the Name
8. Name Diarrhea
7. Thy Neighbors Name
6. Dead on Arrival
5. Kool Namez
4. Xtracted E
3. N ‘n’ R Us
2. Stuff and Things
1. Is that a name in your pocket?

It’s very telling that, in the battle of the “big box” domestic merchandise retail chains, Bed Bath and Beyond survives while Linen -n- Things went bye-bye. Also, the movie Click would not have made as much sense if Adam Sandler had acquired up his all-powerful remote control from Christopher Walken in a “way linen” closet at LnT.

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Worst Headline Ever #2

Jun 05
2010

Ugh. Tasteless. Punny. Memorable for all the wrong reasons.

From my play blog cavworld.net.

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VIDEO: How not to be a tool on Foursquare

May 18
2010

Charlie from Curve has produced a great “etiquitte guide” to Foursquare. Now that the geo-location social media platform is approaching critical mass, this is timely indeed. It does seem, however, that I will need to cease checking-in at the local Publix.

A generous tip o’ the chapeaux to BrandFlakes for Breakfast.

Foursquare Etiquette from Charlie Wollborg on Vimeo.

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Yep, It’s Dusty ‘Round Here

May 04
2010

Please bear with us as we rebrand and relaunch our site. Clients have been keeping us too busy to properly attend to our own storefront here. (For shame, yes, but it’s a high-class problem to have, right?)

So we’re rebranding on the fly. It’s the fastest way to get it done, and you might get a kick out of watching. Then again, you might have better things to do. We understand.

Don’t worry. Anything you miss will be on the making-of video we’re producing. We won’t be posting it on YouTube or anywhere else online. It will only be released on Super-8 motion picture film or, perhaps, Betamax.

Or not at all. Too many of those darn things out in the world anyway.

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It May Be Memorable, But Not In a Good Way

Apr 26
2010

When I was a kid, I was the lucky cub scout that won the Pinewood Derby. The moment is, as you might imagine, easy for me to remember. Pleasant memories of once-in-a-lifetime events–I was in the fourth grade at the time, so I felt like I had won the Indy 500–usually are.

Many years later, I had another moment that has stuck with me. I was in a restroom at Chandra Bose International Airport in Calcutta when a mangy, battle-weary black-and-white cat sauntered under the partition and into the stall. The poor devil had a big fat tick feeding off him at his haunches. The cat then proceeded to rub himself all over my bare shins. Being somewhat indisposed at the time, there was little to do to avoid this short of kicking him, and that’s not the sort of thing I do. I spent the next 20 minutes standing in front of a sink with my pants off trying to wash my lower legs with powdered airport soap, much to the consternation of my fellow travelers. Luckily, I had another pair of trousers in my carry-on. I did not want to spend my flight to Delhi itching and scratching due to a bad case of kitty cooties.

In many ways, this ad reminds me of that feline encounter of the icky kind. You see, I will remember it forevermore, and not because the layout looks like a Technicolor yawn, or because of the trite, just-got-my-bachelors headline with accompanying see-say visual. No, it’s because the masters of the universe behind this obviously-groundbreaking product (what if we made an athletic shoe with springs in the heel? Genius, I tell you!) decided that a spermatozoa was going be their Nike swoosh.

I don’t think I could forget this if I joined the French Foreign Legion.

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